untouchable 411: bullying & bigotry @ fire station park

[Nov 19, 2023 Addendum (article originally published in late July): I wanna make one thing clear as crystal, that I thought & spoke about when recording Ep 2 of our Grove show Three Lives to Live and talking turkey about Ray Bradbury’s warnings to us about the drastic anti-social trend in human culture over the past majority of a century: namely, that I think that the Bible verse Luke 23:34 [“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”] applies here. This whole debacle is a classic symptom case of the “hollowing out” of Humanity… and I honestly have come to the conclusion that this crowd is simply confused. Nevertheless, evil & negativity is still evil & negativity – necessitating being called out, and corrected. Please also listen to the episode to get a 360-degree view of not only this incident, but today’s crises & the importance of an Oasis like this here Grove Project.]

Fire Station Park, established 1975, stands alongside the adjacent Fire Station Community Center & the brand-new (as of time of writing in July of 2023) Fire Station/Dickies Skate Plaza (hereafter referred to as “DSP”) as true gems of Fort Worth’s old south side; a range of beautiful districts that indeed constitute “home” for me.

The opening of the skate park addition was incredibly welcome news to me & anyone sensible – for a city fast approaching a cool million folks, we still lacked a full-fledged skate park anywhere in the core of town – the closest we had was merely a small couple ramps in a space claimed from a tennis court up at Marine Park. There has been a full SP at Chisholm Trail Park since 2016, but it’s on the very edge of the city, nearer to cow pasture than Downtown, & takes real effort to reach via transit (the #6, one of our frequent routes, does get close-ish, but you’re still having to go almost 3 miles street-wise to get there from the stop at Columbus Trail/Tree Leaf). Nah– DSP is a full-blown park in the inner city, meant for the enjoyment & edification of us more inner-city folks.

an animation of a dance party scene from 'hey arnold', with lila, arnold himself, and timberly in the forefront
let the church say ‘amen!’

Before we continue, I invite all y’all reading this to do is get familiar with who I am. This background info is fundamental to understand the gist of this here page. Fortunately, given how unique a case I am & the need to lay all my cards out on the table to separate the wheat from the chaff, I have long been done written a thorough, yet still concise, article about myself – my story & important values & points to be on “like Donkey Kong”. I come “to the table” as someone with a very unique story & unique circumstances – an American “untouchable“. Thanks in advance for really having a good read of things!

Of Reptiles and Man: Who is Leon Merritt?

So now that you’re done, you can see there’s a lot “what’s up” here, but it’s easy as pie to respect me as a human being, & bring that Humanity – despite what some real lovely cases “think”. There are several civil-/human rights/dignity “mountain ranges” that necessitated & continue to necessitate conquering – racism, sexism, “alphabet”-phobia, things like that – and included in that list is anti-disability discrimination, also known as “ableism”… as well as the relegation of innocent folks (disabled and otherwise) to “untouchable” status.

This goes doubly so for mental disabilities – a.k.a. “differently-able”s. We are ‘wired’ differently – and that’s no less “real” than being a paraplegic in a wheelchair or another physical difference. We are no less human, & we need social accommodation (different approaches, attitude adjustments, etc – metaphorical “ramps”) just as the physically disabled need physical accommodation like ramps & elevators. We are under no obligation to conform to any deluded ideas of “overcoming” disabilities (which is – again – NOT a thing, y’all – I addressed that in ORAM above) or otherwise being fodder for glurge in Reader’s Digest… nor are we obligated to be deferential doormats who are “sorry” for being who we are. But unfortunately, such views are common & I get a lot of crap for daring to be an activist for my human rights, dignity, & inclusion.

a scan of the cover of a reader's digest magazine
charmin can’t even compete

Continuing on – upon insatiable excitement & anticipation, DSP’s fences were taken down several weeks before the “official” grand opening on April 29, 2023. It was the moment I passed the park & noticed those fences were down (while heading Downtown for a candidate forum for the May ’23 municipal election, funnily enough) that I started hanging out there. After all, such a place is a great opportunity & “hub” to, given my circumstances, try to find those bonds – those connections – I so need in life alongside that genuine Humanity & understanding. I may not skate but I love bikes – BMX cruising in particular. Perfect fit, right?

Sure enough, in April & May, I hung out there a lot – and it was great. It was chill, I didn’t have reason to be fearful, & while not everyone was friendly (no one has 100% of people be nice to them… except in Grove Nation, of course! 😉) enough indeed were that DSP became one of “the spots” for me.

Then… well, my “May-July Ordeal” happened – another aspect of this ‘struggling life’ – & I was “away” for approximately two months.

Unfortunately, Fire Station Park as a whole appears to have rolled (or maybe “hurtled” is the better term) downhill in the meantime & is now effectively under the control of a violent, bigoted “gang”/cult that I found out the hard way really doesn’t care much for the differently-abled (at least those of us who aren’t “Reader’s Digest” doormats – more on this in a moment), Christians, conservatives, or basic Human-Positive values in general.

The first day of my “return”, I was in the main Grove Nation Discord voice room (shameless plug: if you’re trill & ain’t in our Discord yet – accessible via the widget to your right… come on, let’s ride!) with Segel & NinjaGoku, just talking turkey & catching up on things. I noted that the environment appeared as if something drastically changed. I hate the word “vibes”, as it’s a favorite of postmodernists (& whoo boy, do I have something to say about postmodernism in a little while here), but indeed the “vibes” changed. The park was noticeably dirtier & had much more litter, & the crowd reminded me more of, as I told the Gromies, Grand Theft Auto NPCs. Or perhaps Saints Row ones.

If you know… you know. (#gamers)

a view of vespucci beach in los santos from gta v, based on real-life venice beach
Truly the apex of civilization. (Aliens, ensure y’all’s cloaking devices are in order!)

But… as a Christian & a Gromie, I’m supposed to epitomize “standing above the fray”. I’m supposed to be a role model, showing that this species ain’t always gotta be a bunch of crapheads that keep extraterrestrials avoiding these barbarous apes by doing the space-travel equivalent of rolling up all the windows & locking the doors in the vicinity of this star system. So I decide that I’mma nonetheless not judge books by covers and try to nonetheless connect, interact, and bond.

Oops.

eastern europe: older middle-aged man carrying a bunch of eggs in loose cartons on the street, approaching a banana peel but distracted by a woman nearby
two nuts and a sausage are about to put an end to all them eggs

A couple random dudes greeted me that night. I proceeded to introduce myself and share my story. The interaction appeared to go well, and they proceeded to introduce me to the rest of their group – which turned out to be the “dreaded” group in question here in this article. Again, it seemed to go well – though admittedly, in my eagerness to see things work out, I overlooked a large red flag: namely, Fidel “Trey” Tristan – the de-facto leader of this “faction” – reacting with a measure of apathetic “go with the flow” attitude towards me & my story at introduction time.

The problem with “go with the flow” mentality is that such casual, “blasé” attitudes towards life are a hallmark of privilege & fails to foment the kind of active action needed to boost & defend folks with true struggles like me. After all, when your life is relatively easy, you sure can “just go with the flow” & have things be fine. Try that in the trenches, however, & it’s a good way to end up croaking a failure. I’m up here needing active homies who will actively put me to work; actively boost me; actively defend me. After all & for example: when it comes to pre-existing groups, I often end up having to be “shoehorned in” because of the inevitable members of said groups that choose to be icy.

Sure enough, I noticed that despite the pretty words… my needed “ramps” were being disregarded (I was being expected to be “nOrMaL” – as much as “nOrMaL” is anything more than a setting on a washer), I was being deliberately excluded from hangouts, I had to metaphorically “pull teeth” to actually be included, & I was being expected to follow along for scraps like a semi-disregarded lost puppy following a klatch that said pooch futilely hopes will be their new pack. Even the “birthday celebration” (I was born on July 18, 1992 & just turned 31) turned out to be an affair where I felt invisible & had to do a song and dance to get too many of my “new homies” to so much as cross a single field in a single park to be there for. Dudes would bully me, and Trey & Co. would act like it’s not a big deal – much less actually bother standing up for me!

a photograph showing washing machines at a laundromat in ontario, canada
i said “spin” as in “cycle”, not as in “political”!

Let’s contrast this kinda mess with an example of a human that knows his Positivity – an awesome homie (& Gromie) from my time “in county”, Gabriel Piñon. I didn’t have to metaphorically “pull teeth” to hang with him – he made it a point to act like a friend should.

At the start of the day, I’d peek out to the day room & see his first action of the day being having a look at my door to see if I was active yet. He’d show up at my door, too. When I was in the day room or the gym, he sought me out without me having to follow him around. He deliberately greeted me and included me. He sat with me at mealtimes & shared both the tangible & intangible alike. When we fought, he sought to reconnect & converse in a way that took both of us into account.

Such a modus operandi should be something that happens for me, and in general, so standard it almost goes without saying. But in most cases, with my “friends”, I’m having to – indeed – yank at the chompers.

On the evening of the 21st, after too many days of this, I finally brought the issue up to Trey… who proceeded to lose his crap on me. This incident is summed up in this Facebook post I made:

Following this incident, during the upcoming day, I rode to Target to get a couple needfuls, then proceeded East on 7th into the heart of Downtown, stopping at Central Station for a cooling break from the hellish summer heat and to charge my phone some… at which point “Hawk”, who is basically Trey’s “lieutenant”, shows up and declares the entirety of Fire Station Park “off-limits” to me, or else I’ll be maimed or outright murdered.

I called in a terroristic threat to Fort Worth Police… who proceeded to simply call me and say they “can’t do anything about it” (even though I got it on tape) & tell me to simply call back if/when a physical action happens.

Sigh.

I consider the big picture & decide to speak with friends who hang at the park about the issue. I’m reassured that I’ll be “fine”; that this group in particular isn’t really in control of much and that the threats are empty.

So I show up the night of the 22nd… & find myself ganged up on again, followed by – no cap, it’s on video – Hawk blowing cigarette smoke directly on my face (aggravated assault), bracing himself on my bike to prevent me from substantively moving (false imprisonment), shoving me against the water fountain (AA again…), then strangling me (attempted murder). Here’s the Facebook Live that partially covered the incident (but nonethless more than captured the gist of the action):

~ The original long video footage was, unfortunately, Zuck-Trucked due to Facebook’s clueless techbro B.S. This is a shorter clip that nonetheless still shows the attack in progress, & gives a more-than-adequate gist of what I went through that night. ~

I made a 911 call, naturally.

The response was so long I had to leave the area because I felt too vulnerable. It felt like an eternity, but was in reality like almost 10 minutes – for what should be a Priority 1 call; a dude just tried to murder me (& only didn’t because his ‘comrades’ didn’t want the group to look ‘too’ bad)

I – still on the bike-share bike with a now-dead phone – attempted to continue summoning help via request at local establishments. First up was Free Play Arcade, who I won’t fault as I don’t know whether or not they chose to ignore “the crazy trash who approached” – for all I know, the staff summoned by the patrons I spoke to actually did phone 911.

This is more than can be said for QuikTrip, Maggie’s R&R, and The Chat Room.

QuikTrip – the one located at Hemphill & W Rosedale – was especially egregious. I already had crap happen here, back in February, with being harassed by an overzealous security guard with a mercenary complex…

…& thought, maybe after this, they had corrected course.

Nope. They ain’t.

I enter the establishment (admittedly with the bike in tow, given I’m – y’know – in physical danger & ain’t got time to fumble with locking or risking my loadout or the bike itself being stolen by just leaving them loose outside) and say that I’m in danger and was almost just killed, and that I need emergency responders immediately. The employees ignore me, and this compensator-grade putz of a security guard – a middle-aged sorry excuse for a Black man whose name was on his uniform but I forget – simply ignores the dude in distress and says “oh hell no, get that out of here and get out of here”. I reiterate what I need and he simply says “911 is across the street – bye!” (referring to the police station at the corner of Hemphill & Magnolia).

Seriously? This ain’t time for your little power trip – this is time to act like a damn human being (pardon my French) & do the right damn thing. Simple as that. I literally could have died if my injuries were dire enough (thank God they weren’t), because this dude wanted to be so aloof I’m not sure “aloof” is a strong enough word. Shameful stuff.

This was followed by being patently ignored at the entrance to Maggie’s R&R, and being told to “get out” at The Chat Room by the bartenders (I’m 31 & do NOT look like a kid anymore). I can’t help but wonder if this kinda apathy/hostility/coldness is now genuinely the Fort Worth norm, or if I just ran into a very bad “exception night”.

Finally, upon reviving my phone at a street plug on Magnolia (funnily enough, in the same spot I was menaced from the car the previous night), I dialed 911 *again* & finally got some kind of response. Unfortunately, the responding Fort Worth Police officers acted more like the call was a hassle for them & the situation was not taken seriously. I requested to be checked out at JPS Hospital, so an ambulance came. I explained what happened to the officers, upon which I was asked what basically amounted to “did you actually deserve this? they said you were bugging them & causing a disturbance!”

Um… wowza. Let’s dissect this li’l nugget now.

I did nothing physical, so that can be moved out of the way right away. What I did was share my story & speak up for my dignity & rights as a human being – to be treated like I have value, included, & understood (& all that kinda good stuff). I emphasized old-school conservatism – simple “decent-human” values aligning with Jesus’ teachings. That’s bona-fide, certified, testified, rarefied, genuine First Amendment speech, & to insinuate that I in any way “brought what happened on myself” by speaking up is just as patently offensive as insinuating that Black Civil Rights marchers “deserved” to have the hoses & dogs turned on them.

 

Theophilus Eugene ‘Bull’ Connor, the White supremacist city commissioner of public safety in Birmingham in the early 1960s
When your first name is ‘Theophilus’, darn right you’ll go by ‘Bull’ instead. [public domain, from Observer archives]
Thankfully, I turned out to be okay (& I’d like to also take this opportunity to also say ‘shame on JPS’ for ushering me out before I could even speak to a social worker – I am unhoused now, after all…). & here I am putting this article/page together for obvious reasons.

So, what exactly happened here? One of the great things about being relegated to & from society’s rock-butt bedrock bottom is that you get the fullest view of how things really work compared to any other demographic – & here is no exception. One of my favorite songs ever is Bowling for Soup’s “High School Never Ends”, because it so well sums up how things work on Earth today.

High school, of course, is awesome for many people – it’s the apex of early youth; an immersive smorgasbord of learning, friends, fun, & life. Even if you were part of a faction that got bullied by other cliques (such as nerds getting messed with by jocks)… you were nonetheless a part of a faction and had ‘something’ going for you (though this doesn’t excuse the bully mess, obviously).

At the same time, it’s a cesspool of shallowness, inhumanity, values violations, & other assorted negativity. It’s the true start of a torturous life for us “American untouchables”; true outcasts who don’t find ourselves a part of/welcome in any subculture, but instead on the outside of everything – a proposition so deadly that average life expectancy for us is often lower than that of the worst-off countries on Earth. An analysis of such negativity in & beyond the “halls of _____ High” could honestly fill a whole tome (or many episodes of a podcast… which is the format I’ve chosen) – but let’s right now focus on a few key elements related to how I got treated at DSP.

It became obvious that the “organization” in question here is led by Trey & Hawk, with miscellaneous adults & minors (some blood relations, some not), and constitutes a typical “high school never ends” clique, with some twists: namely that said clique morphed into a full-on social-control/turf/cultural gang, centered around boosting “self” through the mentioned elements & an embrace of a hateful, violent, nihilistic postmodernism that, unfortunately, has become very common – standard – today. They are not “rich” but they do have the privilege of having a healthy organization with plenty of love & human needfuls for those they choose to see value in.

The key word, of course, being “choose”.

I ran into the same issue here as with so many other existing groups: that they arbitrarily chose to see me as “less than”, both in general & especially due to my being special-needs & assertive about my Humanity. However, even when one is seen as subhuman by a group, such groups will still tend to pretend to “accept” as a “new homie”, while in reality seeking a patsy/rube to “use” for selfish gains of several different types & simply to mess with & string along, in accordance with typical common-as-pigeons bullying tactics. Such “use” will sometimes be seen as having enough potential to where we’ll even get thrown a few crumbs, like small gifts (the clothes, ‘birthday event’, & such Trey mentioned in his comment on my recollection of the 21st’s events).

This is seen as a sort of “investment”, in hopes that they’ll get disproportionate “returns” back, and also – more importantly & foremost – to use as “leverage” when any complaints are lodged about overall mistreatment & abuse – never mind that even Egyptian slaves occasionally got some quality food (which they dwelled on during complaints about the journey to the Promised Land, for the record). When a bully finds a patsy, they ain’t tryna lose that patsy, you know? Heck, during the Jim Crow era, racist Whites not only didn’t mind submissive, deferential Black folks who accepted our oppression; they embraced such people since they were “useful”.

Now for the postmodernism part. Again, this is gonna be a whole series I’mma be doing, since the analysis has to be thorough. But – in a nutshell – the “hippie” movement of the 1960s & 1970s is often assumed to have failed, but they actually succeeded (& spectacularly so!) – the sorry excuse for ‘culture’ that’s mainstream today, in all its variants, is based on that of the hippies. Remember – the hippies were rebelling against genuine Human values: they were scions of privilege who looked at such things as genuine community bonds, saving mischief for those who actually deserve it, Church families, guilds, Matthew 25 loving us outcasts, & sexual relations having actual meaning (as opposed to empty hookups, or as they took to calling the mess, “free love”) and “pooh-pooh”ed it all. They rejected the fact that life has higher meaning than “just existing and having fun” (indeed, me “interrupting the fun [read: their clique not having to deal with pesky ‘outsiders’]” with my need of Humanity was one of Trey’s kvetch/whine points). They chose to see there being no point in having values & improving things, since they saw life as having no real “point”. It’s privileged nihilism, basically – so one can see, given this, how & why the reaction to me showing up was how it was. “Hawk” even made a comment saying that he never connected with me on social media & such because he considered me a “hazard” (read: I intruded on his ig’nence bubble).

Such postmodernism easily gives way to evil, cold ideologies on both the wacked-out left, the wacked-out right, & other “axes” of the political spectrum as well. This is why they hold such a “social darwinist” view of folks disabled like me & try to force “normality” – because they only consider “normal” to be okay, nothing else. This is why the leadership involves so many teenagers & kids – because if “life doesn’t matter”, then it becomes “okay” (in their twisted minds) to have these youths be “foot soldiers” for negativity, enhancing social control, & such things – fed by a buffet of drugs & alcohol, pretending the local curfew don’t exist.

A photo of a traffic light at the intersection of Forest Park boulevard and Park place in Fort worth, texas. The traffic light pole is leaning thanks to having been crashed into at its base by a reckless driver. The pole is leaning in such a way that it is straining some utility lines and appears to be in danger of falling.
“don’t bother fixing – life is meaningless and the sun’s gonna explode anyway”

This boils down to what I have taken to calling a bona-fide “privilege tantrum”. Someone truly marginalized, who knows what a real struggle is like & ain’t part of any of the arbitrary “cool cliques” running around today thanks to the fact high school never ends, dared to show up demanding crazy things like basic Humanity & “WWJD” energy. This enrages privilege that thinks life is “just about chilling, man”.

So does genuine, staunch, old-school conservative politics like mine. My views harken back to a time when we as a species were more in tune with the Positive values we see such a deficit of today – those of genuine community, comity, & class. Values that involve such thing as – in the immortal words of Gomer Pyle, ‘suuu-prise, suuu-prise!’ – opening your fam up to outcasts, so said outcasts can be outcasts no more.

The major contradiction these days is that despite the pervasiveness of postmodernism & its negative knock-on effects, most people still have lives full of bonds & prosperity. This includes bonds – most peoples’ lives are chock-full of family, blood & chosen. Most people are dressed, riding, eating, hanging out, and overall living in such a way they don’t really have any excuse to be “feeling down”. But they do… and the answer why is simple: they feel empty because they have, inadvertently or on purpose, rejected actual values. Embrace those and the problems solve themselves quick, fast, & in a hurry. We’re humans, after all, and have high sapience. Acting like this ain’t the case, and letting life just “drift down the river” rather than being active & Positive in it… that don’t end well. If you need the evidence of such… look around you, y’all.

I am not a bad guy of any sort for seeking Humanity, after a ‘life’ so far mostly full of ostracism, bully mess, abuse, isolation, misfitting, & loneliness. I ain’t perfect (no one is), but the mistakes I’ve made don’t make me a bad person by any stretch. Ask anyone who’s bothered to genuinely be my homie, and you’ll be hard-pressed to find a “he’s a bad guy” amongst them – whether their name is Segel, Hollie, Jayden, Dawg, Spartan Z/Piñon, NinjaGoku, Cody, or beyond. They certainly don’t make me undeserving of the basics that humans need to survive & thrive.

Like I mentioned earlier, Piñon (along with the others listed in the previous paragraph & beyond) stands as a shining example of how painfully easy it is to do things right. He gets it. Segel gets it. Ninja gets it. Dawg gets it. What’s with the people who don’t? (Rhetorical, natch.) In fact, a great rule of thumb when it comes to treating outcasts (& people in general) is to honestly ask yourself, “how would I treat my blood brother?”; the answers to that question is how you’re called to treat us.

I am also not a bad guy for being who I am & needing my “ramps”; needing more than the postmodernist obsession with “just hang out, you don’t need directness” (& “just” in general, as if life is such a casual affair that nothing ever actually needs directly done). So much of the root of the conflict I found myself in boils down to a stubborn unwillingness to simply directly include me (of course ‘inspired’ by a view that ‘the “patsy” is not to be included anyway’).  The interesting thing is, most people don’t have to worry about this – I noticed that active gravitation was common amongst the gang… and is common in general amongst people. So, why do I get treated so differently, & worse?

elmo from sesame street (red muppet puppet) on a tricycle on an urban street with the letter "P" visible on screen, which elmo's staring at
hint: it starts with “p”…

In fact, here’s a fun little nugget I ain’t mentioned yet: during the daytime on the 22nd, when I was hanging around at the park and made a couple new friends (hopefully?), one of Trey’s gang, a girl who will remain unnamed, fist-bumped me and said “I understand and I’m tryna get better about inclusion”. Guess who joined the mob during the nighttime? If that don’t just epitomize how they know what’s right, but simply refuse to do such… then call me Archibald René Cheeseman VIII, y’all. Their cold, then violent, reaction to me is because I stand for values, and they choose not to. My being conservative + an outcast & disabled – yet nonetheless being adamant about my Humanity – alongside my being a Christian, a staunch conservative, & more… they all showcase Values; Positivity. Good like this enrages evil, who cannot comprehend such.

As an addendum, here’s a Facebook Live video explainer I also did on this whole situation:

The bottom line – something that I’m indeed reiterating (and I’m doing so for a darn good reason) – is that in today’s messy world, there are some people – I’ll use the word “us” – who, through no fault of our own find ourselves relegated to the rock-a’ bottom of society. We come in all colors, we come in disabled & neuro-/physio-typical, we come in all ages, both sexes, the whole gamut of demographics. We got so much to offer as people – but thanks to the aforementioned “high school never ends”, find ourselves “stuck in a rut” thanks to external actions both deliberate & inadvertent – & the solutions depend on having enough real action, real fighters. They’ll – again – never come through “going with the flow” or anything involving the word “just”. We don’t have things “just happen”; they gotta be made to happen. I’m willing to put in the work daily – who’s down to be the other part of that equation?

We need life, too – and to say because we hit a bad wedge on the Wheel of Fortune that we now “deserve” a life of suffering is straight absurd – especially applicable to those who use the “well if it didn’t ‘just happen’ for you, it sucks to be you – why should people just ‘give’ you life?!” “argument”. Said argument ignores the fact that I am not a taker, but a worker – & so are most of us outcasts/”untouchables”. We are looking for Humanity, for dignity – this includes the dignity of meaningful work. Frankly, this “argument” is bull just like the “argument” that simply homing homeless folks is “A Bad Thing”, despite the evidence being clear on how that’s cheaper for public & private coffers & actually enables hard work & citizen participation (it’s hard to be at your all having to sleep hard on the street).

Bullying of this sort kills. Ostracism kills. Emptiness kills. Loneliness kills. Here I am at 31, so broken by everything I’ve gone through & continue to go through in life – & needing the healing that only enough Humanity can provide. It’s cute as bugs’ teeth when people mention certain elements of my person as if they’re doing some sort of “gotcha”… meanwhile I’m flat-out open about exactly how all this has affected me (recall my autobiographical article). I lay clear as day the fact I am a broken man, have ‘mom’ & ‘dad’ issues, have to be suspicious & watchful towards everyone, et cetera.

Are these good things? Of course not – but they are my reality. If only time machines/simulators existed, I’d have a challenge going for anyone pooh-poohing me: live my so-called life from the start (being able to travel back to right after the time point of your starting, naturally). I’d put money on most people tapping out & hitting the failsafe/”Safe-word” right around the time I got gang-raped in middle school.

I hope that y’all who are confused about my assertiveness, bluntness, & overall “attitude” finally understand after all this reading – I have my reasons to be who I am. I’m super-jaded, and justifiably so. But that don’t mean I’m cold, or negative – approach me right, & I’ll be nothing but “right” back to you. Just don’t be expecting me to “smile” or otherwise put the cart before the horse. I’m adamant for a reason. I want y’all to imagine life “without” for so long, struggling for so long, being on the receiving end of so much violence for all this time. Try to imagine yourself in these shoes. If you’d not be being blunt by this point, you’re either telling a story or super-human.

I refuse to just accept where I’ve been relegated – I’m about finally getting to life, in all aspects – something that enrages the privileged crowd (note that I’m referring to social privilege, which indeed some “po'” folks nonetheless have). I’m an American untouchable, y’all – & I refuse to stay in “my place”. The rage this induces is why what happened at DSP happened – along with so much other garbage in life. Why? After all, it’s so much easier… to simply be nice – & you get the most loyal & dedicated kinda homie in the process, one of us outcasts!

It don’t take much to share life. Be real & serious about it. We can end ostracism through something as simple as existing “fams”/”squads” making it a point to each find one or two outcasts (maybe even more!) and invite us to be a real “one of the boys/girls”. This means going beyond tossing money or stuff or prayer or whatever at us & running – it means genuine bonding, which indeed means much more to me than the former. Put aside any misconceptions that people you around gotta “be just like you”, & open your mind – build bridges – build links, y’all. There’s a ton of video gaming clans, bicycle/scooter/minibike/car/truck/whatever clubs, churches, et cetera out there – use those as vehicles (pun fully intended) to share the awesome life such entities enable.

Together, we can do the dang thang.

Who is Fidel “Trey” Tristan? + An Addendum

 

 

 

The simple fact is, I’m tryna have my story listened to and be truly understood & done right. I am a human being; a social animal with social needs – like everyone (with the exception of true hermits, which are absurdly rare). Just because I’m “different”; just because one needs to bring a little more patience & understanding for me… doesn’t mean I have less, or no, worth. I still need to have that warm network, that full fam, that community, the “being somebody” & general *life* that comes from such. It’s about finding acceptance in the “scenes” of my interests & in general.

Matthew 25 & Romans 15 – universal, Nature-based values we’re all obligated to regardless of religion – didn’t stutter about welcoming in the non-hostile stranger that seeks.

What I do is nowhere close to crimes, & indeed I have so much to offer in return. For those true & real enough to be warm, I’m easy to get along with & have loyalty, hard work, & dedication for so many days. Ask anyone who has been trill to me.

But remember folks – high school, with its shallowness, sociopathy, & shamelessness – never ends. The Bowling for Soup song is nothing but the truth, & I’m breathing proof. The arbitrary, twisted social caste system – where there are designated “untouchables” at the rock bottom for higher rungs to draw destructive pride from the marginalization of – is firmly in place these days, & to violate it is a “cardinal offense”. Guess who is violating it by seeking life?

This is fundamentally why what happened at Fire Station Park happened. This is why I have had an increasing pile of people staying in a tizzy in my path’s wake – they cannot accept that I seek life. I’m violating the “school rules” – even though everyone would literally be better off if the system weren’t in place at all. Such is the nature of the enemy’s deception; the idea that one “only” has the option of drawing self-esteem from negative sources (putting innocent ‘other’s down), rather than from Positive sources (genuine ‘manhood’/’womanhood’ values).

No matter which “scene” – meteorology, bmx/skating, gaming, streetwear, sundry ‘fandoms’, ham radio, or beyond… the views have been consistent: I’m not “supposed” to get to live, but be (at most) an object of condescending pity. A stooge to pose for pictures & videos with giving ‘handouts’ to; someone to use to virtue signal as a “good person”.

But the moment I’m tryna truly be “one of the boys”, the “good person” act falls like the thin veneer it is. At worst, I’m someone to be actively excluded & harmed. I simply “can’t” be a real part of “the squad”, else one might have to think too hard about whether the enemy’s wrong.

Trey’s the head of the Texas branch of a nonprofit organization called “Heart of Stoke”. This is indeed the “nonprofit mentality”, as I have taken to calling it. One of the hard lessons of life these days is that most supposed “do-good” organizations aren’t about genuinely doing good, but instead are simply about putting on a veneer of “uplifting Humanity” on existing high-school-style cliques who are, in reality, only interested in virtue signalling (as described above) & enriching their arbitrary ranks. Despite the name, there’s plenty of profit in “non-profits”, & boy howdy do sociopaths take full advantage of it.

The false veneer people put up of being warm & caring is a reference – a call-back – to the Positive way humans are intended to operate. Deep down we know what’s right – but we’ve diverged from Harmony so hard & are such in denial about it that all that’s left is stage theatre. The “nonprofit industrial complex” is huge – many cities have churches on every corner, non-profits for miles – yet there’s still so much loneliness, so many people without belonging, so much poverty, so much despair. As the meme goes: that math don’t math!

(Side note: Trey is the head of Heart of Stoke Texas in particular. We have yet to find out if other branches are like that – there are the rare actually-good nonprofits out there – and are withholding judgment on non-TX chapters until we get a true indication.)

“Funnily” enough, while all this is going on, people immersed in the mess will act like they aren’t – mistaking me for a moron. I may be “slow” but I still have some speed. Drew Dreyspring – a putz on the same level as Trey – said through Trey that he “missed” me… like hell he did, given that in 2020 he pitched a conniption when I sought genuine brotherhood and inclusion from him. His “breaking point” was – are y’all sitting down? – daring to wanna meet and be a genuine new bro in his group. (Dun! Dun! Dunnnnn!) (Remember what I said about daring to seek life being considered a cardinal offense?)

It’s through talking turkey about what’s going on – & indeed, naming names – that we can know what the issues are, so serious people – & people willing to get serious – can know what darkness we need to illuminate.

Links

Some Simple Facts

  1. Being intimidated & physically kept out of a public park due to a gang’s privilege-tantrum reaction to the simple prospect of being there for a special-needs fighting outcast just tryna find Humanity & community is a blatant violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act. The ADA applies to ANY venue meant for the public, not even just publicly-owned entities. In this case, it is indeed the latter – a public City Park – but for the record, this also applies to businesses, et al as well. Private-citizen actors can easily be in violation, and these people most certainly are. If the City of Fort Worth, et al takes no action, they are in violation, as well. Speaking of the City, there’s not just a Federal (& State) law covering anti-disability discrimination, but also a City ordinance – the Human Relations (Public Accommodations) Ordinance – prohibiting any mess. The law, at multiple levels, don’t mince words when it comes to stating that the immoral, inhumane, & bigoted act of failing to accommodate the special-needs in any sort of public setting – such as a public park – is also blatantly illegal, & rightfully so. Even though the actors are private citizens, these laws nonetheless cover their actions. I have a right to be treated like a human being with dignity & respect at Fire Station Park & well beyond – & I will not hesitate to stay in action mode until I get justice.
  2. The Hemphill/Rosedale QuikTrip needs to fix their mercenary problem. Hire security guards who are focused on public service, not power trips.
  3. Maggie’s R&R & The Chat Room are in major violation as well for being cold towards me in my emergency plight.
  4. The coldness of Fort Worth P.D. to my situation is not okay. The questioning of whether I “cAuSeD a DiStUrBaNcE” by daring to use 1st-Amendment-protected speech to speak up for my rights & dignity as a human being, & hinting at me basically “deserving” what happened to me because I refused to be cast out/made a patsy/discriminated against is patently offensive.
  5. I am not a villain of any sort for daring to seek basic human things; I’m simply human. Getting this and choosing to act right about this is a choice.
  6. We’ve got a postmodernism & nihilism problem today that desperately needs fixing.

What Needs to Happen

  1. More decent folks bringing that Matthew 25 energy choosing to be real brothers & sisters to us outcasts & helping “defend the Fort” against bigotry… as well as standing up against postmodernism in general.
  2. Said decent folks keeping up the metaphorical “pressure” on City, County, State, & Federal officials (listed below) to take action, as well as standing up to violent, bigoted bullies on “street level” as a community.
  3. State of Texas criminal charges for terroristic threat, aggravated assault, false imprisonment, & attempted murder against “Hawk”.
    ~ It goes without saying that no matter what, “Hawk”‘s behavior in particular was 100% uncalled for. Given I did zero physical actions, & instead simply used First Amendment-protected speech talking turkey about my Humanity, dignity, & rights… it becomes super-duper egregious what he did.
  4. Federal criminal hate crimes/civil rights charges AND/OR an ADA (Americans with Disability Act) civil action against Trey, “Hawk” & the entirety of their “gang” PLUS either they being made to shape up & get humane, or (if they refuse) be trespassed from the park & surrounding area until they do indeed get right.
    ~ As stated above, the law explicitly covers private-citizen actors causing discrimination & hate-violence in public accommodations.
  5. A public information & brotherly love campaign on inclusiveness & dignity in skateboarding/BMX/outdoor sports/leisure in general.

Who to Contact

Better Connecting with Leon & The Grove Project

If you’re true & real (trill) enough to be down for brotherhood with yours truly, then let’s talk – whether you’re local to Fort Worth/Dallas or not. Let’s build that bond – deliberately! – & I’d love to see you ride with my life’s work – The Stormy Grove Nation, which aims to be an Oasis of Positivity from all this society-permeating negativity I’ve covered today. Finally – a culture that ain’t just fake window-dressing!